"There was an old lady snacking on frozen chicken legs while pushing her cart around. She had wild semi dreaded grey hair, layers of earth colored dresses, and a hunchback. That blew my ten year old mind. She really was a witch."
"While working at Walmart, I watched a woman grab a jar of organic peanut butter, smash the glass bottle on the ground, and use the shards to cut her face. After slicing the f**k out of her face she ran up to my stunned a** and asked to see a manager. I walkie'ed somebody over and the manager rushed her into the office while asking me to call 911. Apparently she was an addict and jonesing hard. She figured the best thing to do was get hurt at Walmart so they would give her "a million dollars for pain and suffering". Shockingly enough, Walmart didn't pay out to the junkie that cut up her own face."
"Woman took off her underwear, hiked up her skirt, pooped in a pickle barrel by the deli, then called the manager to complain about 'the weird pickle'. Her hope was to sue the store but while she was out of view of employees over a dozen customers saw it."
"A fat guy hurried into the store, he was beat red and sweating profusely. He rushed up to the counter with a few bottles of extra strength laxative. As soon as I finished scanning them he started chugging them. He paid cash and I handed him his receipt and change. He burped and pushed the receipt and now empty bottles towards me and calmly walked out of the store."
"I once saw somebody open a bottle of milk, sniff it and wrinkled her nose in disgust. Then proceeded to pour the bit of milk she didn't like into another bottle and buy the first bottle."
"This guy lived in a Toys R Us and had a double-life as a charitable church-going man. He was caught when he tried to rob the Toys R Us and had to flee through his hideout which extended into the abandoned Circuit City next door, which gave police enough evidence to find him later. At night, he was a fugitive hiding and playing in a Toys "R" Us, making his lair in a cubbyhole in the bicycle display, racing remote-control cars on the roof after hours and riding bikes around the store for exercise, said Sgt. Katherine Scheimreif of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg, N.C., police. He even monkeyed with the employees' work schedules, and his diet included stolen baby food, she said. To top it off, he also escaped prison by hiding in the under belly of a deliver can leaving the complex prior to his double life at Toys R Us."
"I'm a cashier, and this guy walks up to my counter with a full roast chicken. I glance at him and continue checking out the person in front of me. When I look back, he's gone. My manager comes sprinting up the aisle, picks up the chicken, shakes the container angrily and yells, 'I KNEW IT, HE DID IT AGAIN.' I pull the container over and the guy had just taken a single bite out of the top of the chicken and left it. I have no idea how many times he's done it but apparently enough for my manager to recognize him."
"Really obese old lady at Walmart just trying on deodorants and putting them back. Think she tried like 20 before she was satisfied to continue on without putting one in her cart. One time I bought some over-the-counter sleeping pills from Walmart that I found out had had the safety seal removed when I brought them home. When I went back to the store the next day to get a replacement, the woman working at the customer service desk opened the bottle, counted the pills, and said 'They're all here, so what's the problem?' I seriously had to explain to this grown woman why I wasn't going to trust an open bottle of pills and why it was reasonable of me to expect a replacement."
"Worked in a small local mini market. There was an assistant manager there that none of us liked. He was incompetent but really smarmy because his dad owned the company. One day a known shoplifter comes in (a Roma Gypsy in her 60s) so he tracks her on the cctv and sees her stash a bottle of expensive shampoo up her skirt. Delighted that he was going to catch her in the act and be a hero he immediately went to confront her. Before he got to her she had obviously felt something was up and put the shampoo back. When he confronted her and said he knew she was hiding something she whipped off her dress in one quick motion and stood there stark naked and challenged him to find the shampoo on her person. He looked simultaneously devastated and disgusted and told us afterwards that he could hear us all laughing in the security office from the shop floor!"
"I was a cashier at Kroger for a bit. The employee restroom was in the back of the store so us front end people would always use the public bathroom at the front of the store. I had to pee one day and ran in the mens room. There was only one stall, which was massive, cause it was a handicap stall. Other than the stall, there was a urinal. I was at the urinal doing my business when I hear the door open behind me and hear someone literally run into the handicap stall and almost immediately start shitting. Just the worst most awful sounds you can imagine coming out of some humans a**hole, along with grunts and groans from the person. And the smell. The smell was atrocious. I'm trying to finish peeing and I look down just to get a glimpse of this persons shoes so that I can see who this monster is when they come out of the bathroom (by identifying them by their shoes) and I realize I can't see any feet. In fact, I don't see anyone at all. I can see the bottom of the toilet and the floor, but no human being. I think 'what the h**l?' and move away from the urinal and over to the sink, which is in front of the door to the handicap stall....and the door is wide open because the person didn't close it. Thanks to the wide open door I see that the person is crouched in the corner of the stall, opposite of the toilet, and just shitting directly on the bathroom floor. The guy realizes I'm looking at him, makes eye contact with me and with a completely serious and blank face says 'Oh...sorry.' and pulls his pants up and moves right past me and out the door. He didn't wipe or anything. He just stood up and left, leaving a Triceratops sized pile of shit on the bathroom floor. I was so dumbfounded by all of this that I didn't even say anything to anyone. I just left the bathroom and went back to my check lane."
"My friend was pregnant with twins and was at Wegmans with our other friend. Unfortunately I didn't get to witness this. Her water broke in, of all places, the pickle aisle. She threw jars of pickles on the liquid to hide it, then left. She said she didn't really know why she did that. She freaked out and didn't want anyone to think she pissed herself, not thinking 'I'm massively pregnant with twins and water breaking is an actual thing'"
"A very obese woman in a motorized cart crapped her pants. She stopped about 12 feet from where I was working, lifted her left leg and did a little shake as a pile of sh*t slid down her pant leg right onto the floor. I stood there in disbelief as she just motored on like nothing happened. Not 10 seconds later, another customer ran their cart through it and it left little sh*t-streaks across the floor from every revolution the wheel made like dotted lines on a roadway."
"Shopping at Trader Joes right before closing. There was almost nobody in the store so I was zipping around in a hurry. I get to the egg rack and there is a tall man standing there blocking the whole thing with an open egg box just staring at it. Not checking for broken eggs like I do but just staring at the box. So I try to work my way around him, he is muttering to himself, and I decide it would be better to give him some space and get eggs another time Then as I'm going down the next isle I hear him starting to cluck and crow, soft at first but then it gets much louder and then BAM I see an egg hurled across the store and it splats on the wall above the meat rack. I'm thinking time to bail at this point. Then I hear a call for manager on the intercom and bells dinging at the register so I pull back and watch the drama. Manager #1 comes up in a colorful Hawaiian shirt and instructs the nut bag to drop the eggs and please leave. He jumps back and starts yelling profanity and clucking. Throws more eggs at the wall and goes for another carton of eggs. Manager #2 or maybe a checker and confronts him, and nervously says we called the cops, its time to go. So I get to the front checkout with a shopping cart half full and decide its not worth it and leave."
"Not me but a former manager that witnessed this. We have a rather large 24-hour grocery store in our city. She was there shopping after closing at work, after midnight. As she was shopping, a man with severe burns on his face and body (like needed emergency medical treatment) was walking around and begging people to buy him Neosporin."
"This lady is searching the store for her husband. Can't find him. She didn't ask me, but people were talking about this lady who couldn't find her husband. Well, at some point during this we find out that a guy died in the bathroom while on the toilet. Heart attacks are actually pretty common on the toilet, and it happened and no one found him until he was dead. We put it all together hours later and figured that the guy who died was likely this woman's husband. She was searching for her husband for an hour or so I was told, and we had been talking about there being a dead guy in the bathroom while she was looking for him. No one had put it together until we started to get closer to closing."
"A customer was walking around the store carrying a jar full of her poop, and showing it to people. I kid you not. It was a health food store, I was sitting in the cafe area filling out an application to work there, when she just walks up to me... middle-aged, musty, frumpy, smelly, pushing a cart around slowly...and thrust the pickle jar in my face, saying, 'Look what came out in my colon cleanse!' The poop was just...floating in there, loosely formed, yellowish, disgusting. It floated in what appeared to be urine. I tried to remain calm and civil, because I was applying to work there. Didn't want to cause a scene, and the customer is always right and stuff. I told her that's not something I wanted to look at, but thanks, and glad her cleanse worked out. That's when she handed me a business card and said to call her, she did colon cleansing for a living. When she shuffled off, poop jar in hand, I took my application to the manager, and told him, oh BTW, you have a lady in the store showing her poop to people. As I said that, she could be seen over in the produce department, showing her jar to a new unsuspecting victim. The manager laughed and said, 'Her again?! I told her not to bring that jar in here again...' Which caused me to laugh. She was escorted out of the store, I was hired that day. So there's that."
"The totally f**ked up thing that I witnessed at a grocery store happened to me! Santa Cruz Mission St. Safeway. I went in to buy some normal stuff in a normal way; bread and eggs, some juice. I was at the checkout stand when I opened the carton and noticed an egg was cracked. The person working the register said to leave it, and grab a fresh carton. They handed me the receipt, I picked up my fresh carton and exited the building. Outside, 2 loss prevention guys accosted me, grabbed me aggressively, accused me of robbery, and pulled me thru the store into the back room. I told them I paid for all my groceries, and handed them the receipt. Dude looks at it, drops it on the floor and handcuffs me! I am detained there for over an hour, when I have classes to go to, until finally the kind soul who checked me out takes 5 and is en route to the break room, sees me, and tells the goon squad they are crazy and better let me go immediately. They gave me a 50 dollar gift card which I did not use."
"My dad worked at a grocery store so I spent a lot of time before school there. This older lady named Mary was always hanging around, she was a little nuts. I was outside waiting for the bus, and a couple guys came up and started harassing her. She threatened to hit one of them with her purse and he laughed. She grabbed her purse by the handle, reared back, and hit him in the head with it. The guys fell to the ground, out cold. I looked at her she looked at me and smiled, then pulled two bricks out of her bag."
"1am. middle of winter in a small town in Southern Indiana. At Walmart. In the hunting/fishing section. I saw a dude carrying around a premature baby. I didn't even think it was alive at first. It was so tiny. I had to stare at it for a good 10 seconds to notice it's breathing. He was walking around with a group of people (all wearing generic camo, in their early 20's) and none of them were acting like anything was wrong. They didn't have a stroller, blanket, bag, anything for this baby. Dude wasn't even holding it tight. He just had it resting on one arm. I was so scared he was going to trip and drop it, and I was going to see a baby die right in front of me. I honestly just turned around and walked off. I really hope that baby was okay."
"A loss prevention guy that loved his job. We hear over the speakers 'You, in the shoe department. I saw what you did...put it back and leave and we won't have an issue.' A minute later... 'don't try to hide in the dressing room, I know you're in there. Last chance to put it back before you are arrested.' It continues as he basically follows her around the store on camera over the PA, and she allegedly kept trying to hide places in the store instead of running for it. It ended with 'You should have ran while you could, the state police will be waiting by the exit with me. I cant wait to meet you and get to know you!'"
"Also, lady in a wheelchair is a regular customer that a local Shop N Save hates. She lets her children do anything they want and just says she can't do anything to control them because she's in a wheelchair. She is also a very mean and ignorant person to every employee. She finally got kicked out of the store when her kids opened up roughly 30 bags of jelly beans and dumped them all over the candy aisle, and threw them at each other and customers, while she never even bothered to ask them to stop. The manager meets her at the register and hands her a bill for the damages and she refuses to pay, saying she will sue the store. He tells her to leave and never return and you literally hear an ovation from all the employees, as they had gathered to see the showdown."