When your job is to drive for hours on end --- you're bound to see some crazy s#$t!
“Yessir”
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." Source
“The Craziest Thing I’ve Seen”
Australian driver here, have had the usual things happen, Chicks driving around with their funbags out, getting changed while driving etc, but the craziest thing ive seen someone do behind the wheel was one lady in a high end BMW in the middle of Sydney breast feeding while driving. Source
“H##king Or Suicidal?”
I never did figure this one out. About 2AM I drove around a curve while topping a hill and there was a girl standing in the middle of the road. She was only wearing high heels and a thong and she was standing in a very provocative way – but still right in the middle of the lane. I missed hitting her at 70 mph by a few feet. H##king or suicidal? No idea – but I called the police so they could get her out of the road. Source
“Never Come Back To Canada”
My grandpa was a truck driver, started after all the coal dried up in his southern Illinois town. He had to sleep in some pretty shady places, so he kept a small gun in his glove compartment. One day, he had to make a delivery to Canada; border patrol asked him if he had any weapons. He forgot/lied and said no. They searched his cab, found the gun, and arrested him. After waiting in Canadian jail for awhile, they said "Well, we're not charging you…but never come back to Canada. tl;dr: my grandpa can't go to Canada anymore. Source
“Do You Know Who Sings This Song?”
I own a truck but just to RV around. One night in Oklahoma I stopped to take a poo. Pulled in, parked, and walked in. Settled into a stall when the door opens and closes quickly. A quiet Spanish accented man says " do you know who sings this song?" … Uhhh no bro. " sorry so sorry" and he's gone. And that's the night I turned down Mexican trucker anal. Source
“He Had A Big Old Grin On His Face”
I was running LTL in Milwaukee. I made the mistake of looking down to see this fairly good looking older gent, completely naked and sp##king it. He had a big old grin on his face. I smiled and he noded and kept pacing me until I hit an off ramp a couple of miles up the road. Source
“Something Out Of A Movie”
On the Ohio turnpike a semi (trailer detached) rolling very very slowly on fire. It was the middle of winter and snowing heavily out. There was very little traffic on that side so it must have happened right before I saw it. Very weird scene. Almost something out of a movie. Source
“Now I Have A .40 On My Hip When I Park”
Scariest for me was a homeless dude getting pissed that I didn't give him money for food. He'd just said he was eating from the garbage, so I was like whatever. I shut the curtain, then heard a noise behind the truck. He's pounding and screaming. Now I have a .40 on my hip when I park. Source
“The Glow Of A Cigarette”
My dad was a trucker for years and when he was sleeping at a rest stop one night he woke up to a noise outside of his truck. He saw the glow of a cigarette and the man smoking it offered to smoke my dads p#le and perform other sexual favors. My dad pulled a gun on him and left. Source
“Thank God For North Dakota’s Enormous Ditches”
One time I saw a truck hit the ditch going 75mph. He must have fallen asleep, but I'll be damned if didn't drive for roughly a quarter mile then come right back out. Thank God for North Dakota's enormous ditches! Source
“My Friend Just Said ‘What The F##k'”
My friend stopped at a truck stop in South Carolina where they had only one working shower stall and it was occupied. While waiting he heard this guy grunting furiously and he was taking a very long time to finish, so my friend being a brash person opens the shower curtain to tell the dude to hurry up. Inside the guy is standing with his back to the water vigorously f###ing! a sub sandwich from the shop in the truck stop. My friend just said "what the f##k" and closed the shower curtain and went and waited in his truck. When he went back later the guy had left the whole sub in pieces scattered in the shower. My friend didn't end up showering that day. Source
“A Dozen Cops Come Through”
When stopped just off an exit in Georgia, heard a bunch of sirens, all of a sudden this black corvette comes screaming off the exit, cuts it's lights off and power slides into the parking lot. A few seconds later, about a dozen cops come through and completely missed him. Source
“Make Sure It Doesn’t Pass”
I don't have much to say. I get a radio call from the cops saying that if I see a white Toyota celica to make sure it doesn't pass. I had my buddy get in the other lane as soon as we saw the car. Long story short the cops got the car because we blocked him from going any further. Source
“All I See Is A Spark”
I drove by a house that was in the midst of being set ablaze by the owners methed-out brother. AlI see is a spark and then flames in my side mirrors. I heard the next day that the brother whose house was on fire came out and beat the dog s##t out of his brother before putting the fire out. Source
