Have you ever wondered if you’re unintentionally being a jerk to your partner? Well, you’re not alone. In this article, we dive into the world of men seeking virtual advice on their relationship behaviors. Join the conversation and let’s figure it out together: Are they being jerks, or is all of this just a big misunderstanding? All content has been edited for clarity purposes.
“I Called Off The Marriage”
“My fiancee and I had been together for 4 years and engaged for 6 months. I had a 7-year-old lab mix who was the greatest dog in existence.
One weekend, my fiancee had a bachelorette party at home. I stayed at my parent’s house, but I left the dog with my fiancee because she liked having him there. However, I made sure to tell her to put the dog in our bedroom once the party got started.
At 5 in the morning on Sunday, I received a frantic call from my fiancee.
She cried, ‘There’s something wrong with the dog!’
She was drunk, so I told her to call a taxi and go to the emergency vet clinic. When I got to the clinic, my fiancee looked like she hadn’t stopped crying for hours. She could barely even speak. Two of her friends were there, and they told me about how my dog was alive, but not well. I felt sorry for my fiancee for an entire 10 minutes while we were waiting for the doctor.
When the doctor called me back, he told me my dog had ingested a large amount of alcohol and chocolate edibles. Apparently, the girls thought it would be cool to leave everything out on a short coffee table. They let the dog wander around instead of putting him in our bedroom and then got wasted and didn’t notice the dog going to town on booze and edibles.
When we got home, I told my fiancee to pack and get out of my house. I told her to tell her guests I called off the marriage, and I would tell mine. She was shocked, but she took her things and left.
2 hours later, I started to get bombarded by texts and calls from my fiancee’s sisters, brother, brother’s wife, mom, and all of her friends. They told me I was insane to do this to her after being together for 4 years. They started by defending her, but it quickly turned into throwing insults at me.
The logical thing to do in the situation would be to turn to my friends and family for comfort. Nope. They all agreed with my fiancee and her family.
My mom said, ‘Well, it was a mistake. She didn’t do it on purpose. Besides, the dog didn’t die!’
My dog didn’t die, eh? Lucky me!
My sister was appalled I canceled the wedding, ‘Over that?!’ My best man even said I overreacted. Yes, our relationship had its ups and downs, but before this point, it was mostly fine. But I was so disgusted at my fiancee, that I couldn’t even look her in the eye, let alone spend the rest of my life with her. She wasn’t a teenager who ‘just made a mistake.’ She’s 27 years old!
I never thought about changing my decision about calling off the marriage. But was I really in the wrong like everyone said I was?”
The Daughter Dilemma
“I’m a dad to a daughter. I love my daughter to pieces, but in one situation, I struggled to see eye-to-eye with her and my wife.
My family has always eaten meat. We lived in the rural Midwest, and eating bacon for breakfast was pretty much a given. This year, my 14-year-old daughter decided to go vegan, and I jumped onto her support team with enthusiasm. We learned how to substitute ingredients, cook new things, and try new foods. I even adjusted my grocery budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for my daughter.
I didn’t take issue with any of this until recently. My daughter saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then rinse it out before putting it in the dishwasher. My daughter EXPLODED in anger.
She cried, ‘What are you doing? You’re using MY pan for vegan food!’
I replied, ‘Kiddo, this is the family pan. This pan is older than you. It’s not YOUR pan.’
My daughter then asked, ‘Well, can you buy me a pan I can use for my food only?’
I told her, ‘Yes,’ and then I ordered a few colored pans just for her. I figured the colored pans would be better so I could easily tell which pans were my daughters, and which ones were mine.
Apparently, my efforts weren’t enough. Since I washed the bacon pan in the dishwasher, the dishwasher was now ‘contaminated,’ with animal products. My daughter complained about the fridge having ‘bacon grease fingers’ on it. A few days later, I found out my daughter asked my wife to stop eating meat at the house.
Frankly, I was on team ‘hell no.’ I didn’t understand how my daughter could expect both my wife and I to completely change our diets just because she changed hers. However, my wife was much more amendable, and she wanted me to strongly consider taking my daughter up on her request. My wife’s reasoning was that our parents lived close, so we could just eat our meat products at their homes.
‘I just don’t want our daughter to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen,’ my wife explained.
My daughter claimed she was okay with cheese and butter in the fridge, but meat products made her ‘feel sick.’
I felt like my daughter just needed to adapt and live side by side because there was NO WAY I was going to stop eating bacon in my own house. After I told my wife this, she became extremely upset with me.
Am I in the wrong for not completely changing my lifestyle and diet for my 14-year-old daughter?”
“My Heart Broke For My Son”
“I’m 37 years old and have a 13-year-old son. I was a widower when I met my current wife. She had a 16-year-old daughter from another relationship. The family was often on good terms.
My son was the ‘quiet’ one in the family, and he kept to himself a lot. It wasn’t to the point where it was concerning, he just liked being alone. My wife and stepdaughter were the complete opposite. My son complained about having to be forced out of his comfort zone and having his need for space invalidated. I spoke to both my wife and stepdaughter, and I asked them to give my son space and freedom to spend his time how he wanted. They apologized and promised they’d let him be.
As Mother’s Day was approaching, I wanted to throw my wife a surprise celebration. However, my stepdaughter quickly spoiled the surprise so her mother could prepare.
On Mother’s Day, I got off work earlier than usual to finish the final arrangements. While entering the house, I heard my wife and stepdaughter talking to my son.
My wife asked him, ‘Do you think your dad would let you stay home? I bet you could convince him to let you!’
‘Why?’ my son asked.
‘Well, you’re just so introverted,’ my wife explained, ‘I think your socially awkward attitude is going to ruin my night.’
‘I promise I’ll be fine,’ my son replied, ‘I’ll try to socialize with everyone.’
‘I’m not buying it,’ my wife said as she rolled her eyes.
My son kept reassuring her, but she eventually snapped and said, ‘Technically, I’m not your real mom anyway. I don’t get why you want to celebrate Mother’s Day with me so bad.’
My stepdaughter then threw some backhanded comment at my son. When I walked around the corner, everyone was shocked to see me standing there. Neither my wife nor her daughter said anything.
I told my son and stepdaughter to go to their rooms, then I told my wife the celebration was off. Canceled.
She argued, ‘Why? I didn’t do anything wrong! You didn’t even hear our entire conversation!’
‘I’m not arguing with you,’ I told her, ‘The decision was already made.’
‘What am I supposed to tell my family? You’re making a HUGE mistake!’ my wife cried.
I ignored her while she kept throwing tantrum after tantrums. The next morning, she took her daughter and went to stay at her parent’s house. She didn’t call or text. The situation was full of tension, and I was more hurt than anything. My heart broke for my son.
Was what my wife said to my son too harsh?”
“The House Was Destroyed”
“My beautiful wife loved to serve others. We bought a home down the street from my family. I had a 17-year-old sister who liked to crash at our house with her friends.
My wife was normally easygoing until recently. My sister’s friends have been leaving messes around the house. Mostly towels on the floor after using our swimming pool. My wife got upset after picking them up every day. I have asked my sister to make sure the house is clean after they leave, and lately, it has been better.
My wife also complained about how some of her perfumes and clothing items had gone missing. My sister said it wasn’t her, and I believed her. I just didn’t see my sister doing something so wrong. I told my wife, and we agreed to just replace them.
Last week, my wife made a couple of pans of cinnamon rolls from scratch. One pan was for us, the second pan was for her co-worker’s family who was experiencing a tragedy.
Afterward, my wife went to the gym. I went to work, and my sister and her friends came by. The one pan wasn’t enough for her and her friends. They wanted the second pan of cinnamon rolls, and my sister texted my wife asking if they could eat them. My wife said no, but they ate them anyway.
My wife, extremely upset, went and bought new locks. When I came home, my wife handed me a new key and said, ‘I don’t want anyone else having the key to our house.’
I tried to calm her down and said, ‘I can go replace the cinnamon rolls with store-bought ones,’ but she refused. Replacing stolen items wasn’t ‘good enough’ anymore.
A few days later, my mom called and asked if my sister could use our pool for a party. I was under the impression my mom would be there, so I agreed. I would be at work when they needed the pool, so I thought the simplest solution would be for me to change the locks back,
Little did I know, my mom didn’t come with my sister. When my wife got home after the party, the house was destroyed. She sent me photos and called me every name in the book for changing the locks. Then, she told me I broke her trust.
‘I don’t even feel safe in my home anymore,’ my wife said, ‘Your sister keeps taking my stuff, and you won’t put an end to it.’
Then, my wife left and went to stay at her friend’s house for a few days.
Was I in the wrong for taking my sister’s side over my wife’s?”
“She Demanded I Remove The Lock From The Door”
“A while back, my brother-in-law lost his home after his divorce. As a result, he moved in with my wife and me, plus, he brought his twin daughters. His daughters, ‘Becca,’ and ‘Alyssa’ were 18 years old. My wife and I had one daughter who was 16 years old, ‘Megan.’ My daughter and her cousins weren’t close, but they got along fine.
Becca and Alyssa had no respect for Megan’s privacy. They would walk into her room and take everything they could get their hands on. Whether it was makeup, phone accessories, or my daughter’s school laptop, Becca and Alyssa would steal it. Megan complained about it, and I already asked the girls to respect my daughter’s belongings. However, my wife and BIL agreed with Becca and Alyssa’s behavior. They thought the girls were just being ‘typical teenagers.’ I disagreed.
The last straw was when Megan bought a $60 MAC eyeshadow palette. She saved up her money for over a month and was very proud of her purchase. Only a few days after Megan bought the palette, Becca took it without her permission and ruined it by smashing some of the shadows and mixing the colors. My daughter was SO upset, and I felt awful. I told my wife about what happened, and she said she’d ask Becca to apologize. Afterward, I bought Megan a lock for her bedroom door.
When my BIL and his daughters found the lock, they weren’t happy. The girls were extremely upset.
My BIL asked about it, and I explained, ‘I can’t have your daughter’s going into Megan’s room anymore. She’s had her belongings stolen and destroyed, and it can’t happen anymore.’
‘My daughters aren’t thieves!’ my BIL yelled, ‘It’s normal that girls borrow each other’s things. She could easily buy another eyeshadow palette from Walmart for $15! She shouldn’t be buying expensive makeup anyway!’
Then, my BIL accused me of being overprotective of my daughter and enabling her to act entitled.
When I talked to my wife later on, she shamed me for putting a lock on our daughter’s door. She claimed it was preventing Megan’s cousins from ‘spending time’ with her. Then, my wife demanded I remove the lock from the door.
‘Absolutely not,’ I said, ‘The lock isn’t coming off the door until Becca and Alyssa are out of the house.’
My wife thought I was implying that we should kick her family out of the house, but that wasn’t what I meant at all. Everyone’s been giving me and Megan the silent treatment, and my wife is still upset. Am I in the wrong?”
“Basically, We’re Both Pregnant”
“My wife is 29 years old, and I’m 27 years old. We do well financially, so we decided to have our fourth child.
Every single pregnancy we’ve been through, my wife has been a total nightmare. Some things I could deal with, like waking up to the sound of her puking her guts out each morning. However, when my wife started demanding I go to the store every day to get her snacks or set up her foot bath because her feet were swollen, I got a little impatient.
I worked longer hours than her in a more physically demanding profession. She was an engineer, I was a plumber. So, in my eyes, I thought we were putting an equal amount of effort into the baby.
It wasn’t like I didn’t help out around the house, either. My wife did all of the cooking and dishes. I did the laundry, took out the garbage, and mowed the lawn. We paid a housekeeper to clean the floors and bathroom each week. My mother-in-law came over to help with the kids because she thought I was useless. While I appreciated her help, I was sick of her crap. Just because I wanted to play video games for an hour each day instead of cleaning the house didn’t mean I was ‘useless.’
This all came to a head the other day when my wife started screaming at me.
She said, ‘Quit sitting around and spend time with the twins so I can make our meatloaf!’
I made a dumb joke about how it was our third meatloaf we’d be eating this week, and my wife lost her mind.
‘You have no sympathy for me being pregnant!’ my wife screamed, ‘You should be taking on more chores. I do most of the housework, plus breastfeed!’
I reminded my wife I still worked more hours than her and finished by saying, ‘So basically, we’re both pregnant.’
My wife had a short meltdown, but when I didn’t respond, she got quiet. She only spoke to me regarding the kids since. I didn’t think I was in the wrong, but I considered apologizing to make her happy. Was what I said to my wife out of line?”
“She Threatened To Break Up With Me”
“I recently won a ton of money on a lottery ticket. The amount of money I won was in the millions. It was enough money to change the life of myself and my family.
My ex-wife was the mother of my two children. She was an amazing woman and was good to the bone. We divorced 6 years ago because I cheated on her with my current partner. I was at a low place in my life, and I messed up. My wife was in incredible pain, but like a saint, she allowed me to still see our children after we divorced. My wife allowed our divorce to be as pain-free as possible, despite hurting. She is still close to my parents, and she still respects me. However, my ex-wife refused to speak to my girlfriend.
My ex-wife was the first person I called after my parents when I found out I won the lottery. She was happy for me and joked about me taking our children on a world-round trip. Nothing else. As soon as I won the money, I knew I wanted to give my ex-wife a significant amount. I still loved her. She was the mother of my children, and I felt like giving her some of the winnings was a small way I could show her I wasn’t completely messed up. She deserved to know I cared despite my mistakes. My ex-wife also worked a crappy job in a public library. The job didn’t pay well. If I gave her money, she would be able to pursue the hobbies she always wanted to do.
I didn’t tell my ex-wife I was planning on giving her some of the money. However, both my parents and my lawyer strongly agreed with the decision.
When I told my girlfriend about my plan, she was livid.
‘You’re disrespecting me!’ she screamed, ‘I think you’re still in love with your ex-wife!’
I wasn’t in love with her. We’ve both grown apart, but of course, I still loved her for being an excellent co-parenting partner and mother to our children. My girlfriend threatened to break up with me and to be honest, I wouldn’t mind if she did.
I didn’t want to change my plans, and I was set on giving my wife the money. Am I being a terrible partner to my girlfriend?”
“I Was Done With Her Antics”
“A few months ago, I found out my wife was pregnant with our daughter. Initially, we were both really happy and excited about it. But then, my wife suddenly started acting like a nut job. She would get angry and irritated over small things and would insult me when she didn’t like the food I made. She was acting insecure, and she accused me of losing attraction to her.
For example, last week, my wife wanted chicken sandwiches for dinner. Well, I made chicken sandwiches, and my wife ate ALL of them. She left me nothing and then told me they tasted bad. What?!
‘Why did you eat all of them if they were gross?’ I asked.
‘I was hungry, what do you expect!’ she replied.
Okay, fine. She did this every time we ate dinner. I eventually stopped arguing with her because I worked 80 hours each week, and was sick and tired of arguing when I got home. I just wanted some peace.
A few days later, I went to the gym. When I was working out, a random girl started flirting with me. She asked if I wanted to meet up for drinks, and I shot her down and said, ‘I’m married.’
When I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize.
I asked her, ‘Why are you apologizing? What happened?’
She explained, ‘My friend said I should test your loyalty. I agreed, and she went to the gym and flirted with you. You passed!’
At this point, I was extremely angry and done with her antics.
Would I be a terrible person if I asked my wife to move out?”
