These take taxi cab confessions to a whole other level!
Twist Of Fate.
Drove a cab for awhile on weekends while in college. I had dated this girl for about a month when she confessed she had a boyfriend in Germany. She told me all about him and that he was going to be moving in with her. Stopped seeing her. A few months later I pickup a drunk couple at a bar. They’re all over each other, making out in the back. The guy is German. We drop off the girl, then he has me take him home. He starts telling me how he just moved here to be with his girlfriend, but she’s out of town for the weekend. He says American girls are easy cause they’re suckers for guys with accents and he cheats on his oblivious girlfriend all the time. Yep, it was the guy. I said nothing as I dropped him at Keri’s place. Always wondered what happened with them. (Source)
Grade-A Jerk.
Short stint driving cab in Boston area. 2 very attractive passengers come in, I assume they are a couple, even though the man is clearly far older than the woman. Talking loudly about getting away from Boston and going to Paris. I try to strike up some conversation and ask them how long they are going for, and they say they are moving there the next day. Turns out the dude was married. Like, to another woman. His wife was out for the night, and he was just packing up some stuff and moving without telling her, or his 3 kids, until he was there. Asked me if I could give them a ride to the airport in the morning, and I’d have to meet them around the block. I said no. I got no tip. (Source)
Doing What You Gotta Do.
I picked up an older gentlemen from a local discrete all-male brothel. He was articulate, sweet, funny, and also a male prostitute. He was on his way to see his mother at the nursing home. He told me his mother does not know what he does and thinks he is just a teacher. He wants to quit working in the brothel but he cannot afford to keep his house and pay for his mother’s care on teaching wages. He was very forthcoming with all this and became a regular client. He tipped very well also. (Source)
Age Doesn’t Dictate Fun.
As a limo driver I heard an older (55ish) bachelorette party discussing the liberator pad and how it makes their husbands tiny dick feel much larger. They were pretend moaning in the back while I had the divider down. I got my a__ grabbed by one of the bridesmaids at the end of the night while she slipped me a C note. (Source)
Double Whammy.
That he was cheating on his wife with his cocaine dealer, who came from the same country as I did (which is how the conversation got started) and it had been going on for 25 years. I dont know what impresses me more, a 25 year affair or a 25 year cocaine habit. To clarify since a lot of you are speculating, the dealer was a woman. Quite good in bed too, from his detailed description. It was my first fare of the night, the first time working there as a “cab driver”. I was helping out a friend of my dad’s who owned a bar deep in Ontario, CA by driving his regulars home. Fun times, lot of fights, incredible amounts of shenanigans between the patrons, and incredibly loud corridos blasting from the speakers all throughout the night. (Source)
In Divorce, The Lawyers Always Win.
Two lawyers representing opposite sides in a divorce planning to prolong the proceedings. (Source)
Hope Everything Worked Out
I’ve driven cabs in Australia on and off for about two years. I think the worst story/confession I got was from a dude who rushedly booked my cab to travel from one end of the Gold Coast (the city I live/work in) to the other. He told me he was in such a hurry was because his girlfriend had just run to him and told him she had been raped. She went to a party without him because they had been fighting. During the course of the ride he told me that he had been thinking of dumping her, but that with this he didn’t know what to do. Dropped him off at her place and he was pretty messed up. Pretty bad situation to be in for both of them, hope they managed to sort everything out. (Source)
A Sad, Downward Spiral.
That the guy got his f_ck buddy pregnant, and that he couldn’t sleep from seeing the kid’s heartbeat the day before. We were on a midnight Cook Out run (it’s a fast food chain, the soma of VA and NC). Also that a guy’s life was exactly like Nic Cage’s in Leaving Las Vegas. Confessed that his Filipino wife left him and took the kids years earlier and he was basically drinking himself dead. I’ve learned the best thing to do is just to sit back and take it all in. (Source)
Cabbies Have Secrets Too.
I ordered a cab one night after I missed the bus home. After telling the driver where to go, he got a call. He apologized and closed the plexiglass window to take it privately. I guess the sealing on it was off or something like that because I heard him very clearly say that he’d pick up his kilo in 20 minutes. He then opened the window, apologized again and asked me if I had seen the recent football game. At least he was a nice guy. Just to clarify, this is southern Florida. Odds are it was coke. Again, he was a pretty nice dude. I even slid him an extra 10 because he found a shortcut that shaved fifteen minutes off of the trip. (Source)
Whack Priorities.
John Corbett’s sh_tty vanity project band was in town and I picked the four of them up and brought them to the bars. All of them were talking about how they were itching for some “college town p_ssy”, especially John. Corbutt’s been dating Bo Derek since 2002, poor thing. Also, I saw his set the next day and they should spend less time getting wasted and cheating on their women and more time practicing how to play/sing. Ugh. (Source)
Someone’s Always Listening.
Not me, but my friend overheard the driver call him something to the effect of a “c_cksucking jew” when he was exiting the cab. My friend’s mom is a mashati persian (he looks like his dad), and responded in perfect farsi “i shouldn’t have tipped you, a__hole”. He said the driver’s reaction was priceless. (Source)
A Sad Reality.
I was a passenger in a cab once, I had called a cab for girl I was hosting from Norway to take us to the hospital. I barely knew her, she was a friend of a friend who basically got stranded alone in Baltimore. While in the cab, the cabbie asked us why she had to go to the hospital. She had a bad night where she got too drunk in downtown Baltimore by herself and was sexually assaulted. She woke up the next day in a seedy hotel room naked with a broken knee and without her wallet which had $500 cash in it. Her knee was so f_cked up she needed knee surgery, she had torn her meniscus which is knee cartilage.
The cabbie got really emotional and told us his story of first arriving to America and getting mugged. Basically his first job here was as a pizza delivery guy 20 years ago, one time he got a delivery call and when he showed up with the pizza he was beaten pretty badly. He told us that most people here have treated him really poorly and that he was glad to see that there are some Americans who treat foreigners like people. When we got to the hospital he said we didn’t have to pay him. I gave him the money and a nice tip anyway. (Source)
A Whole Lotta Nope.
Had an extremely drunk guy tell me how he lost his virginity to his ex-wife and after the divorce he was so depressed that he let the “church” he was part of talk him into castrating himself. Sooo yea there’s that. (Source)
Caught By The Boss.
My boss moonlights as a taxi driver in the city about 20 mins from my hometown, and she always has crazy stories about her passengers. Well, one night some friends and I managed to get into a bar in said city with some fake IDs and got super trashed. We called a cab at like 2 am and guess who the driver is. My boss. Not only did me and another friend in the cab work in the same place, we both had to work the next day. Needless to say, our hungover a__es had more sh_t to do than anyone else that day. She never told our parents though, so she kept OUR secret (Source)
His Lips Were Sealed.
So this didn’t happen to me but it happened to my dad who is a taxi driver. Some time ago he got a call from this big rundown house in downtown LA somewhere to pick up some woman. So he drove there and waited for her to come out, and she did, but she had a large amount of traveling bags and baggage with her, he got out helped her out and took her to the airport. She told him her name, I cant recall what it was. Also she was African American. The bags were super heavy and she had a ridiculous amount of jewelry on, it looked suspicious but he just did and took her to the airport. He got a big tip needless to say.
Then a few weeks later he got a call from the same rundown house where he picked up the woman. He took the call hoping to get another big tip. This time it wasn’t the woman however, it was a big mean looking African American male, he didn’t know that my dad was the driver who took the woman to the airport. He just told my dad to drive him around and he was looking for a woman who had taken all his valuables and ran. He kept telling my dad that that woman owes him a lot of money and he was going to punish her when he found her. During the drive he kept getting calls from people and they would tell them that they can’t find the woman or that she isn’t at so and so place. He would then tell my dad to go to a different location if that was where they where headed, meanwhile just dropping twenties from the back seat every time he made a request. After driving for nearly four hours looking for her he gave up and tipped a hundred dollars when the trip was down on top of it all, my dad told him it was too much, but he just said, “Don’t worry I like it this way.”
A week later, he was reading the newspaper and he stumbled upon a picture of the same rundown house and a picture of the guy he transported next to it. It turned out that that was the HQ for a big prostitution ring and the man he transported was the guy running it. The woman who had taken everything and left had told the cops about it and helped them by giving names. (Source)
