Grabbing an quick ride from a car service like Uber is great, but have you've ever considered what it's like to be the one behind the wheel? All jobs have their perils, and these Uber drivers have some insane stories about some of the craziest people they've ever had in their car.
The Perils Of Marriage.
“Picked up a guy in the middle of the day from a bar. As soon as I got on the freeway some lady started tailing me and constantly beeping at me. I freaked out a little and he said ‘that might be my wife, don’t worry she’ll stop following soon.’ She followed us for the whole 20 minute ride, non-stop beeping. Once we got there, he practically jumped out of my car and ran for the door. She followed him in her car, almost hitting him. Last thing he said to me, ‘don’t ever get married!’“
So Many Questions With This Story.
“Two guys tried to use me as a getaway car after robbing a bowling alley. They ran away before the cops showed up and as I was pulling up the cops pulled their guns on me & then put me in handcuffs.”
We All Need Our Friends.
“I pick up a girl and she tells me to wait because she needs to find the rest of her friends. I’m blocking traffic while she is calling for her friends. She drags one girl into my back seat. At this time the police pull up behind me and demand I move. I tell them the girl won’t let go of the door or get in. They start yelling at her and she tells them that she needs her friends. Cop moves her. I pull away with her drunk friend. I circle the block a few times and can’t find her again. I try to wake this girl and get an address. She finally gives me a rough idea of where she lives. I drive her there and find the rest of her crew standing outside of her place. I don’t bother asking what happen, I just dump her off and go home.”
Uber Drivers Can Easily Call The Cops If Needed.
“I am an Uber Black driver. Once I picked up a couple in their 40’s. They were clearly not having a good time, still arguing about something. Towards the end of the ride he punches her in the face as hard as he could. When we pull up at the destination he pulls out a knife and starts to threaten her and me. I tell him to take it outside and I drive away. Then I drove to the police and told them what happened. Luckily the Uber Black cars have a camera inside that recorded the events.”
She Just Needed A Break.
“I had a woman climb into the front seat and then the woman who had requested the Lyft hopped in the back. The woman in the front immediately passed out. Turns out the woman who had requested the Lyft did not know this woman in the front. She was a prostitute who just climbed into the car because I sat waiting in her area long enough. Once I realized this woman was a stranger, I pulled over, woke her up and kicked her out.”
That Escalated Quickly.
“I come to my stop and a girl comes out of the bar. Then I see her two friends, one is crying her eyes out and the other is consoling her. Turns out the girl crying was roofied and her friends found her before anything bad happened. They dragged me in to try and help convince her that it wasn’t her fault. I was totally fine to help, and I tried, but I was very unprepared to deal with this. I’m expecting people to throw up in my car not coach them through an crisis.”
Nice Cars Should Not Be Used.
“Buddy drives for Uber. He had two plastered chicks in his car, one puked on the other causing the other to spew. There was vomit all over his BMWs leather seats. Uber paid for the damage and charged the girls though.”
Blow Up Dolls Need Ubers Too.
“One time someone put a blow up doll with two 40s duct taped to the doll’s hands in my passenger seat and said that the Uber was for her. He closed the door and I just drove me and the doll to the destination.”
Maybe He Forgot The Safe Word.
“My best friend drives for Uber and last New Years she picked a guy up and he was wearing full BDSM gear. His girlfriend kicked him out during foreplay and all he had was his phone to call for a ride.“
People Need To Really Clean Up After Themselves.
“My friend is an Uber driver, he told me a horror story where 2 passengers decided to give road head in the backseat. They also blew some of the load on the seat. Since then my friend has always used seat covers and floor covers.”
The Uber Ride Is Not The Club.
“I’ve had people do coke in the backseat. I’ve had barely conscious people have strange incoherent conversations with imaginary friends in my backseat. I’ve had people take selfies of me, distracting me. I’ve had girls grab my steering wheel. I kicked them out. I’ve had people honk my horn. Adios. People blast your radio to 100% all the time. And if you don’t take the abuse, they rate you a 1 star and you’re one step closer to being fired.”
Drunk Girls Are No Joke.
“One time this drunk girl thought I was her Uber driver when I was not. She tries hitting me and then comes in my car and throws all my stuff out the car saying that she is the ‘victim.’ Anyways she got off free after apologizing on national television.”
Don’t Kill The Driver.
“I drove two young girls home around 3am on a Friday night. Quiet and polite passengers but when they get out I find they’ve literally stabbed up my back seat and dash cam review shows they were making ‘gun hand’ gestures at me during the trip. They paid for a new seat. Attacking someone driving a car you’re in seems suicidal but drunk b—-es be crazy. I watch the rear view closer now.”
This Buds For You.
“I picked up a few guys that were planning on going to a friend’s hotel room to drink. They brought along a garbage bag full of Bud Light. On the way there, they decided to go straight to the bar instead. When we got to the bar they left without the bag full of beers, and when I pointed that out they told me that I could keep it as a tip.”
It’s Getting Hot In Here.
“I once got in an Uber alone after a night of drinking and my driver was kind of sweaty and looked like he just ran or something. When I asked him how his night was he told me that his last fare was a cute girl who was pretty drunk and started making out with him when they got to her place. She starting giving him head in the car and then asked if he wanted to come in.”
You Might Not Want To Advertise That Story.
“My friend is a Uber driver too and he was telling me how this girl peed in his car. I am out driving the following week and this passenger was telling me how she peed in some guys car the previous week. When we got to her destination and she got out and I told her I knew the driver who’s car she peed in.I don’t drive passed 2am for that exact reason.”
At Least He Was Nice About It.
“I had a customer tell me they needed to bring their pregnant goat with them. I had to politely refuse.”
Party At The Hospital.
“Had a girl so wasted she passed out. Couldn’t wake her. Called the paramedics and they had to slap the s–t out of her to wake her up. ‘Hey, are you ready to go to the hospital?’ ‘Woo… Let’s go…’ ‘Alright she said it! Let’s move her out!’“
What Just Happened Here?
“Around 2am I picked up two guys and a lady, late-40’s-ish, all quite drunk. The moment they climb in the car, the lady and one of the guys in the back seat get really hostile. She’s threatening to punch him in the face while the guy in the front seat eggs her on and the guy in the back seat keeps yelling that he is chill. As I’m beginning to consider pulling over the guy in the front seat starts suggesting that they all should be friends. His plan for patching things up consisted of her showing them her boobs. It took her about 15 seconds to decide that it was a solid plan and happily presented her pleasure pillows. It culminated with the guys touching her boobs in a manner reminiscent of a pair of 8 year-olds petting a hedgehog.”
The CD Changer Bandit.
“One average looking guy got in and insisted on sitting in the front seat. Soon after departing, he was fiddling with something in his hands, and finally said, ‘wanna see me make this paper clip disappear? I was thinking oh f–k, he’s going to ‘disappear’ it into my eyeball or something. Nope, CD changer. It still doesn’t work.”
Sometimes It’s Not The People In The Car.
“The real horrors are the same s–t anyone driving bar closing hours would see. I haven’t seen anyone die yet but I’ve seen someone almost die at least once a night. Drunk drivers, no lights on the freeway, near misses, wasted college kids running into the street, fender benders galore. I’m much more afraid of the strangers on the road than the strangers sitting behind me.”