Uber journeys never have a dull moment. These stories showcase the weirdness of peoples' deepest secrets that were told during an uber journey.
“Turns out it was…”
“I picked up this young overly affectionate couple that spent the entire trip making out in my backseat and telling each other that they loved each other. Cute. So I drop off the couple and head on my way to pick up my text fare. I hear a cellphone ring in my backseat, realize it’s my previous ride’s, and pick up the phone to let them know I have it and I’ll come back to drop it off. Turns out it was the guys wife phoning to check in on him while he was on a business trip, which he was thoroughly enjoying with his mistress.”
“Seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and I hope he’s doing okay…”
“One time I was driving a dude for a bit of a long trip. Was gonna take around 25-30 minutes. He wasn’t hammered, but definitely a bit drunk. It was late and he must’ve been feeling a bit down, so he confided in me and asked me for some advice. He told me he’s madly in love with his fiancé’s best friend and he couldn’t back out now. He’d been with this girl 4 years, and engaged for 1, ready to be married in a few months. It was pretty sad to hear, because it wasn’t just your average story. It was filled with a lot of subtle emotional and mental anguish. The guy went through about 5 years of ups and downs with his girl, and found an innocent friend and comfort in the best friend. After a few years, he developed feelings and it was just downhill from there. Felt bad for the guy because he seemed like he was truly in love with his fiancé too, although he had strong feelings for this friend. He knew that going through with the marriage meant a lifetime of being around the friend and suppressing feelings, but also breaking it off meant that he lost the girl of his dreams. Seemed like a genuinely nice guy, and I hope he’s doing okay.”
“Emily explained to him that she didn’t want to go out because…”
“Happened to a friend of mine – He picked up these two girls, lets say Ashley and Emily, who were each other’s best friends going out to celebrate Emily’s birthday. They were supposed to be going out downtown, but once they were both in the car Emily said was not in the mood and wanted to go back home. Ashley was pissed because she was trying to do something nice for her best friend etc and the two were in a screaming match in my friends car. He ended up dropping off Ashley first and on the way home Emily explained to him that she didn’t want to go out because she is pregnant and Ashley doesn’t know.”
“Then I overheard them trying to agree to…”
“These two girls I was driving started taking about how they f**ked the same guy. Both agreed his d**k was too big and he was hurting them by lasting too long, both concluded he was gay. Then there was another journey I was doing where I picked up these two middle age couples. They seemed to be friends for a long time. Then I overheard them trying to agree to a foursome. I drive the most interesting of people…”
“I turned off my app and cried…”
“Former Uber driver here. Picked a girl up a sweet girl from a bar on a Wednesday night – absolutely hammered, about 10pm. She got into my car, apologized for being so drunk and politely asked if we could just drive around a little while, with the windows down. I was prepping for a cleaning fee, trying to drive and pull a vomit bag out of the glove box, but no, she just did that airplane thing with one hand out the backseat window. She asked me if I had ever thought about dying, to which I replied, yeah – I guess so. That’s when she told me that she had cancer. It was in her brain and it was too far gone to consider chemo. I remember my heart just pounding. She told me she was dying and she was going to be okay. Tonight she was celebrating with her work friends who threw her a going-away party. She told them she was taking a position abroad. ‘I just didn’t tell them that abroad was heaven.’ Jesus. F**king. Christ. I turned off my app and cried my a** all the way home.”
“Never a dull moment in San Francisco…”
“Took this 19 year old kids and what I assumed was his gf back to her house on pride weekend in SF. They made out the whole ride. When I dropped them off, only she got out. He said ‘Take me to Castro and 18th.’ I said ‘Really?’ and he said ‘Yeah, I only make out with girls when I’m rolling.’ Never a dull moment in San Francisco.”
“I just pretended like I was deaf and…”
“I once picked up this middle age couple that were very drunk. Let’s get real drunk people is the main type of people I pick up. Anyway this extremely drunk middle-age couple started fighting for an entire 30-minute ride. They attempted to bring me into their fight many times. I just pretended like I was deaf and didn’t answer when they tried to rope me into it.”
“The dude was dressed in a purple…”
“It wasn’t so much weird as it was random but my first night driving for Uber I picked up a dude at 2:30 AM that was finishing up a pub crawl. The dude was dressed in a purple dinosaur onesie and was HAMMERED. He got in and started telling me his entire life story and how he came out to his parents and moved across the country the next day.”
“Words to live by…”
“I’m a passenger not a driver. I had an Iraqi driver tell me he was an engineer in Iraq before the first gulf war and he’d developed a superior means of gilding furniture, chandeliers etc which you can imagine was hot in prewar Hussein-ville. Well Uday wanted to go into business with him but (and this is a direct quote) ‘First Uday wants to be your partner in business, then he wants to be partner in your wife.’ Words to live by.”
“Then he tells me he was changing his name to Nilrem…”
“I was taking an uber one time and the driver was an interesting guy. He seemed like a nice person, didn’t get any weird vibes from him. Then he tells me he was changing his name to Nilrem, because it was Merlin spelled backward and he was a wizard. My weird vibes need to be fixed.”
“A few day later he gave her a call and…”
“My mom’s. She does rides in San Diego which is a a city that loves its Navy and is where future SEAL go to BUDS. My mom was telling me one time that she gave a ride to a young man about 20 years old. He had been fighting to become a SEAL his whole life and ended up falling asleep on the last day or two of BUDS and getting dropped for the season. He was just crushed because he made it through everything before and now he would have to wait before being able to enroll again and would be starting from scratch. Anyway, during the ride he started to open up to my mom about his other passion which was medicine and she suggested he chase that dream instead because he came off as a very caring and devoted person. At the end of the ride he asked her to step out of the car so he could give her a hug and a huge thanks for lending an ear and giving her honest opinion about the situation. He also left her his phone number so he could give her a call and let her know what he decided to do. A few day later he gave her a call and said he had returned back home to Texas(?) and would start taking courses to pursue a career in medicine.”
“Not sure as there was missing context but it sounded like…”
“Two 40 something guys who I picked up from a bar were talking on a phone (speaker) and they were trying to make plans with a third guy who was at a party with a bunch of drunk 12 graders (exact words). One guy in my car asked if there was anyone younger there, other dude said ‘dude really?’, Followed by silence, then he said ‘f**king sweet’. Not sure as there was missing context but it sounded like there was younger teenagers there already drunk and these older dudes were going to pick up.”
“That was a tough one cause I was so powerless to help…”
“Picked up a divorced father whose buddy paid for his ride to the bar. Why? Because he was supposed to see his kid that evening for an overnight but the wife had the authority to dictate the terms of him seeing his own child no matter what and she wasn’t feeling it. Granted, I definitely got one side of the story but it was f**king terrible to see a man who desperately wanted to spend time with his kid be completely blocked from it over bullsh*t. California had given dads so little rights (from how this guy described it) that even though he had a stable job, good house, and was willing to pay for a hotel so he and his son would stay in the town the mom lived in, it was a no go. That was a tough one cause I was so powerless to help.”
“Not like a playful slap; she struck her husband…”
“I was taking two couples home. Dropped off couple #1 and the husband of couple #2 was in the front seat and made a comment I didn’t hear. Apparently he insulted the wife of couple #1 – his wife’s bff. The wife in couple #2 didn’t like that so she hit him. Not like a playful slap; she struck her husband. Straight on domestic violence. I laid down the law: ‘we’re not going anywhere if this is how it’s gonna be.’ The dude was drunk on tequila (chick was drunk too) so the ride home was him asking me ‘how would you feel?’ and me saying ‘t’s not about how I feel; you two need to discuss this tomorrow when you’re sober.'”
“I felt I had a positive impact on someone’s life beyond getting them home safely…”
“Picked up a girl to take her straight from work to the hospital to see her dad. Her mom had called her work to make her end her shift early because it was serious. Her dad had cancer. I dropped her off and was like ‘God, I hate this job cause I’ll never know how her night ended.’ wrong. Next night, I’m taking people home from bars and her two guy friends took her out to get wasted cause her dad had died. They were being drunk idiots, so when I took them to get pizza, she came outside and we talked about it a little. That was probably the one ride where I felt I had a positive impact on someone’s life beyond getting them home safely.”
“I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by…”
“Drove UBER one night… it was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a strip club 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare I was happy to drive that far. ($80-100) It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car and they seemed cool so I wasn’t worried. As soon as we got on the freeway the guy in the passenger seat started asking about UBER driving and things got dark. After a few minutes he started saying sh*t like ‘what would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median’ and ‘have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to strangle you while you were driving?’ I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc, but the one guy just kept at it. I was happy to get to the strip club and get them the he** out of the car. Bonus was the bouncer at the club gave me $40 for dropping them off there. I never drove UBER again.F**k that.”
“By the time I dropped them off they hated each other…”
“Once I had 2 girls and a guy declare their love for each other as friends and saying they should hang out more often when they got in the car and by the time I dropped them off they hated each other and never wanted to speak again. My tongue was bleeding by the end of the ride from trying not to laugh my a** off. I cracked a few smiles, I wonder if they ever noticed. They were fighting over the new football coach at the local uni.”
“Uber is still in a legal grey area here…”
“Picked up a girl mid Saturday. She was a bit upset and a little teary and opened up to me. Turned out a business she had started was failing and she was in debt and had turned to stripping on the side to cover the bills. She said the pay was good but she kept getting really sick from all the booze she felt obliged to drink (part of her job was making guys spend money at the bar). She hated it and felt trapped and kept asking me what I would do in her situation (I’m a guy, so kind of hard for me to answer). Tried to give her the best advice I could think of like getting the tax office to with hold tax for a while, but couldn’t help really. Only thing I could do was end the trip early. Other one was a couple of off duty cops who didn’t want their friends to know they were using it. Uber is still in a legal grey area here.”
“I thought to myself that scenario sounds hot as he**…”
“I haven’t really heard anything too juicy, but so far my favorite was this one. I picked up two guys in downtown LA. From their conversation I gather they’d just met at the bar I picked them up from and were going home to hook up. One was younger and clean cut, the other was older and rather scruffy. So I’m driving up Main Street to the 101 and the scruffy guy starts talking about how he used to live there in the 90s and it was a whole lot scummier back then. He mentions he used to have an older boyfriend back then. The boyfriend would call the scruffy guy and tell him to walk down to the sidewalk in a tied off shirt and daisy dukes. Then the boyfriend would drive up in his car and the scruffy guy would lean in his window and the boyfriend would ask him how much, and the scruffy guy would get in and they’d roleplay that he was a prostitute and the boyfriend was his john. The clean cut guy kinda glossed over this and moved the conversation along, but I thought to myself that scenario sounds hot as he**.”
“Pretty messed up stuff…”
“I picked up 2 dudes one time, they seemed like nice guys plus they were laughing with each other. Then midway through the drive I overhear them talking about how they were going to keep hiding their relationship from their wives and children. Pretty messed up stuff.”
“I had no idea this was so popular…”
“I drove a lot of college-aged girls that were looking for/had a sugar daddy. They wanted 30 year old men–no children, good job, willing to buy them lots of things/pay rent, bills. I had no idea this was so popular, but practically every girl that age that opened her mouth about a guy (in my car) went on about his age, job, and money. One girl even admitted to f**king someone with the same name and of the same age as her dad.”
