We live in increasingly strange times these days. Between the celebrity slap fest, economic tensions, and political divisions, the world just has a way of making us look over our shoulders. But now there is an even greater danger afoot lurking at night and in alleyways.
Though we are safe in our homes there is something stalking the streets and specifically our vehicles. It’s best to keep an eye on your automobile. Not for carjackers or catalytic converter thieves, but for something much worse. Some maniac is out there putting meat in exhaust pipes.
Yes, you read that correctly. They are called “meat attacks” and the folks across the pond in the UK are worried. Could your car be next? Is there a meat bandit here in the States? And better yet, what does meat even do to an exhaust pipe?
The first attack was recorded by local police in the town of Credenhill in the United Kingdom. A poor Ford automobile was struck with a chicken drumstick to the rim, while another vehicle was stuffed with whole lamb chops to the exhaust. Despite the vandalism, both vehicles appear to be working just fine according to the BBC.
Though no meat attacks have been reported here in the US it does raise the question, “What should I do if I am the victim of a meat attack?” and better yet what kind of danger does the ole “meat in the muffler” pose to your automobile?
Though vandalism is quite scary if you encounter a meat-filled muffler the best thing to do is probably remove it from your exhaust. Same thing if you find a drumstick on your rims. You can even file a police report if you’re bored enough. However, meat or no meat, an exhaust pipe blockage is bad for your car.
If left clogged up, there will be no place for your car’s exhaust gases to escape, leaving little room for fresh air to enter the engine thus stalling the vehicle. And for those who decide to leave the meat in their tailpipe for some reason, no it will not blast out of your car like a projectile, nor will it be cooked to perfection. You will just be left stalled on the side of the road without any dinner. Sorry.
Though not lamb chops, another choice of food for vandalism are of course eggs. “Egging” is a common prank here in the US where jokers throw eggs on somebody’s property. Once dried, eggs can be a pain in the neck to get off, especially on cars. If this is your case the best option is to take a bucket of soap and water to your vehicle and scrub. Also, be careful not to scratch the paint with any residual eggshells.
If the eggy residue still remains on your vehicle you may need to kick things up a notch with some boiling water. When applied repeatedly, the hot water should remove the egg stains in no time.
Now that you know how to handle yourself and your vehicle during a case of meat/egg-based vandalism you no longer must live in fear! Lambchops are for dinner not exhaust pipes! Stay vigilant against such savage vandalism and hopefully, that maniac stays across the pond in the UK. Only you can prevent terroristic meat attacks.