This Car Thief Shouldn't Quit His Day Job
This Car Thief Shouldn't Quit His Day Job

"I had an order located in a very rough area in Manchester, England. It was a high rise building and the higher you got, the utter dilapidation of the building got worse. I got scared that I was going to be robbed (or worse!) so I ran back to the car only to find someone in it trying to hotwire it. He took one look at me, said, 'It was worth a try, mate,' then ran away. Funny thing was that I had left the keys on the seat, so he was actually trying to boost it while sitting on the keys."

"I Honestly Thought My Life Was Over"

"So I was 16 and being trained on how to deliver properly from my job at Papa John's. So first stop, me and the driver both approach the house to find a man lying in a box beside the door with 'Hungry,' written on the side of it. Suddenly, the man attempted to leap for the pizza but fell short due to a chain being wrapped around his neck. I honestly thought my life was over. Shortly after that, a woman came out of the house. I did not intend to stare, but she had half her face bloodied and swollen. She told us, 'Thanks for the pizza! Oh, and don't mind my husband there, he's been a bad boy.' Shortly after returning, I clocked out, then quit the next day."

"Holy Crap, I Hope This Guy Isn't Dead!"

"I was a pizza delivery guy in college at Kansas State back in the early '90s and the most memorable for me was a delivery to a house late on a weekend night. I showed up at the door, which was standing wide open, and I could see a guy sprawled out unconscious on the floor in the living room. My first thought was, 'Holy crap, I hope this guy isn't dead!' All kinds of thoughts of foul play went through my head and, not sure what to do, I went in and tried to wake him. I finally determined he was alive and there was no blood, so then my thought was about getting stiffed on the deal. After seeing the empty bottles and cans laying around, I noticed a very sloppily written check made out to my pizza company laying on the table next to him, so I just set the pizza there, took the check and shut the door as I left. I'm assuming he at least got to eat the pizza for breakfast!"

Fights Over Girls Never End Well
Fights Over Girls Never End Well

"One night I got a call to a large old Victorian house. You could tell that a party had been there earlier. The door was answered by a drunk guy, with a drunk girl right behind him. As he was about to pay, I noticed another drunk man in the living room dressed in a kimono and wearing a Japanese sword. He started cursing at the man at the door - who rushed him and shoved a couch towards him, knocking him over. The girl grabbed my arm and screamed at me to 'Stop them!' They were yelling profanities, each telling the other person that they would pay and that the other should leave the house. They were falling over furniture and being very drunk; it was painful to watch. I figured that the guys figured whoever paid would win the girl and then other guy would have to leave. The only way to stop them was to get the girl to pay. So I asked her for the money. My regret was that I didn't stay around to see how the fight ended."

Who Answers The Door In The Nude?!
Who Answers The Door In The Nude?!

"Back in the '80s, freshman year of college, I worked at Domino's, and was one of two girls among about eight guys. About the third delivery I took out went to a house that had a two step stoop. I rang the bell and stepped back, as the screen door opened out, so I was standing on the bottom step just waiting. The door opened, I looked up, and the guy had come to the door COMPLETELY NUDE. I looked up and was right in eyeline of well...you know. I just looked up into his face and kind of croaked, 'Pizza delivery???!!!'

He laughed, patted himself and said, 'Oh, ha ha, I must have left my money in my pants.' He came back with a towel on and gave me $50, telling me just to keep it. On the way back to the store, I realized I had seen this guy before...he was the brother of my assistant manager. I realized I had been set up. I decided to just act like nothing happened. I got back and they're all standing there with that, 'Come on, come on...let's see what she's going to do,' look on their faces.

My assistant manager asked, 'How'd it go?'

I said, 'How'd what go?'

He said, 'That delivery? Anything iiiiiiiiiiinteresting?'

I said, 'Yeah, it was weird...that guy kind of looked like your brother.'

He said, 'Oh, yeah?'

I walked right up to him then, looked him up and DOWN and said, 'Huh...must be a family trait,' and extended my pinky finger. Left him a little red faced and the rest of the guys in a pile guffawing."

The Lodge Down The Street Threw Some Interesting Parties
The Lodge Down The Street Threw Some Interesting Parties

"I used to work for Domino's and one day we got a call for half a dozen pies, basic party order. I looked at the address and realized it was literally two minutes straight up the road and it's the location of a local lodge.

I shrugged and helped make the order since it was slow, then packed them up and headed over to the lodge building. This lodge, which was named after a horned animal, is an odd building, four stories high with no windows on the first two floors, which always struck me as odd, but I grabbed the pizza crate and found the door. Now, these lodges are populated by old men (all member are required to be over 40 years old and at least 40 pounds overweight, I think) but the door was answered by a 20-something woman in a bikini and body glitter. She told me to follow her and I did, passing through a room full of old dudes and bikini models, sans bikinis. It seems the lodge was having an event that required a dozen or more exotic dancers, at least I gave them the benefit of the doubt and call them dancers. I got an interesting show and a nice tip for that half mile trip."

Cannot Unsee
Cannot Unsee

"While I was in college, I delivered pizzas for Domino's. I had a couple strange incidents.

-The apartment I was delivering to was a typical off-campus apartment with a combo kitchen/dining room/living room. When the customer answered the door he was naked except for his socks and shoes and just behind him was a table with 4 other guys in different stages of undress playing strip poker. I don't know why they chose him to answer the door - maybe it was a dare, but I made it the quickest transaction I could and they tipped very well, so overall not a bad experience, just unexpected and a little disconcerting.

-Back then, the small 1-topping pizza was under $5 and the drivers carried less than $20 in change to hopefully deter people from robbing us. So I had an order for small 1-topping that was only a few blocks from our storefront. I was there with the pizza in about 10 minutes from order and rang the doorbell. No one came to the door, though the lights were on and I could hear music playing inside. I kept ringing the doorbell, knocking and calling out, 'Your pizza's here!' Finally, after what seemed like forever, this guy came to the door. He was so drunk I could smell his breath as soon as he opened the door. He handed me $50 for the under $5 pizza. I told him I didn't have change and he started crying, telling me he was sorry he didn't have enough to cover the cost of the pizza, but could he please have it because he was so hungry. I tried several times to explain to him that the problem wasn't him not having enough money, it was me not having enough to change. Finally, I took the $50 and told him that I would do this for him this time, but in the future he needed to have the right amount. So I got a $45 tip on a small pizza. Never delivered to the guy again.

-The last incident did not happen to me, but to a co-worker of mine and it was horrible. This guy was huge, but the friendliest, most-laid back person, not threatening in any way. We were trained not to go to a house if it was dark. If there were no lights on, we were to find the nearest pay phone and call back to the store, so they could verify address, etc...and have the customer turn on their porch light. But this poor guy had only been on the job a couple of weeks and forgot the protocol. The house was completely dark and really run down, but he went up and knocked on the door anyway. No one answered, so after a minute or so, he turned to go back to his car and saw there were three or four guys behind him with baseball bats. They beat him so bad, he was in the hospital for several months with broken bones and internal damages. All of the damage to a poor college student working for minimum wage and tips. They took the pizza, his wallet and his change bag, so in total they probably got maybe $30 dollars and a free pizza. He never came back to work and dropped out of college and went home. Unfortunately, because he wasn't following policy, they didn't have to give him any workman's comp or cover his medical expenses."

He Wasn't About To Let That Thief Get Away
He Wasn't About To Let That Thief Get Away

"I worked for about a year at a local shop in a college town while attending school. It was a great student job with flexible hours and good money for the time.

-Once had a guy try to steal a box of sandwiches (we typically ran 5-10 orders at a time) out of my car as I was walking back. He took off running with the box, I got in my car, sped through a nearby cemetery and cut him off. After actually bumping him with the front of my car, he set the box down and took off running back towards the buildings. I grabbed the box and finished the delivery.

-I once delivered late at night to a guy that was clearly intoxicated. He paid me in exact change (literally change), and then tipped me with a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli. I told him next time to just eat the ravioli, so he looked around the apartment and asked his roommate if he could borrow some money for tip. The roommate thought the whole exchange was hilarious and happily tipped me out."

No Job Is Worth The Danger She Put Herself In
No Job Is Worth The Danger She Put Herself In

"I needed a job. Badly. I was a junior in college living off-campus and had to pay for a lot on my own. I applied to a pizza place down the street as a delivery driver. I loved pizza, I had a car, and I needed the money, so why not?

Well, there's a reason young women are not usually food delivery drivers. My first customer on my first day was a man at a hotel next door. I parked outside, went into the lobby, and told the person at the front desk I had pizza for XYZ. I guess he heard his name, because the guy came out from the pool area on the same floor and said it was his, but his wallet was upstairs.

I'd worked in customer service for several years, and since I knew that the customer's convenience is at the top of the list, my first reaction was to say this: 'Oh, you don't have to come back down. Let me follow you up.'

I immediately regretted it. But I already said it. So we go up and I stand in the doorway of his hotel room. He's fetching his wallet and I'm holding the food.

'Come in and put the food on the table here,' he said. He was digging through a jacket or something for the money.

So I did. I put the food down and he handed me the cash. I was about to leave, but then he asked me about things to do in the area. I didn't say much.

I headed back to the door and said to have a good night. He said, 'So let me ask you something.' He approached me. I thought the worst possible things. 'Is there anything I can get...off the menu here?'

I blinked. 'No,' I said slowly. 'I don't think so.'

'Ah, okay. Worth a try.'

I ran out of that room and down to my car - a safe place. I completed my one other delivery and quit immediately after. I figured that that type of job could put me in at least a few horrible situations."

He Gave A Performance Those Old Men Will Never Forget
He Gave A Performance Those Old Men Will Never Forget

"It was mid afternoon on a hot summer Saturday and I was on my way to a house on the other side of town. I was running late, so out of courtesy I gave them a call to let them know.

Instead they asked, 'Hey, are you 21?'

'Yes,' I said, 'I am.'

'Okay, great would you grab us a case of Miller Lite? Wurr a little too many beersh in to go ourselfs. Don't worry we'll pay ya when you get here.'

I told them I would and grabbed a 24 pack of Miller Lite and delivered the beer and pizza to their house. Except, I rang the doorbell and no one answered. I rang it again and still nothing.

Then I heard a, 'HEY! HEY PISHA DUUUUDE,' and I looked down their driveway. They were in their garage which they had converted into some sort of makeshift man/party cave. It screamed Midwestern - it had old rugs, wood paneling sides, a huge box TV, an old stereo and guys with long gray hair and mustaches inhibiting. They even had '80s music on.

Like a pack of wolves preying on a baby fawn, they swarmed around me and immediately took the beers and broke open the box. Oh yeah, the pizza too, which they completely forgot about once one guy said, 'Thish is my favorite song! Pizza duuude do you know this one? Or is thisss befor yer time?'

'Uh yeah, I know 'I miss the rains down in Africa' by Toto,' I said. But I must have given off some sort of snobbish tone as I was beginning to wonder who the heck was going to pay me.

'Oh do ya, now?' he said cracking a laugh and a new beer open. The foam from the can got on his hand. 'All right,' he said licking his hand, 'If'few can sing this song, I'll give you an exshtra 20 dolla tip.'

It was in that moment right there, between a symphony of beer cans opening and Toto's smash 1982 hit, that my musical career was launched. I jumped on one of their stools, used my phone as a makeshift microphone and belted every note with high sensation.

They all roared with laughter and clapped when I was done. They gave me one of the best tips I'd ever received and nicknamed me 'Toto.' I thanked them and walked back to my car, returning to my pizza delivery life."

The Tale Of The Four Devils And An Oak Branch
The Tale Of The Four Devils And An Oak Branch

"My last year of college, I was delivering pies for Gumby's Pizza. On my way back to the shop after a delivery run one night, I came around a corner when a strange sight appeared before me. Four men, dressed in red capes and devil's horns, were walking in the street, lugging a ~15 foot long section of an oak tree branch (complete with leaves!) over their shoulders as they trudged up the hill. Although I was right next to the University campus, my instinct was to treat this as a dangerous situation, even if it looked like a group of rowdy college kids pulling some sort of elaborate prank. I veered wide around the industrious devils as I passed them, glancing over to see what exactly they were doing. And that's when they noticed me, or rather, my illuminated Gumby's sign on top of my car.

Almost in unison, they gave a loud shout, dropped their tree branch, and started chasing after my car.

I don't know about you, but when four men in devil costumes start to chase me, I get the heck out of Dodge, ASAP. Luckily, they were on foot, and my car surged away from them as my foot mashed the gas pedal to the floor, my heart in my throat. Once the devils saw their quarry was going to escape, they slowed to a walk, then turned and resumed hauling their tree branch to who knows where, for who knows what purpose.

Not long after, I was back inside the store, having just finished relating the tale of my 'great escape' to the other employees, when the phone rang. I answered and began punching in the details on the computer. My curiosity was piqued when they wanted to order 12 extra-large pizzas, but it wasn't until they gave the on-campus address and told me to 'just look for the devils when you get there' that everything clicked into place.

I spoke up, 'Wait, I just saw four guys dressed as devils carrying a tree up the road near there.'

To which the guy on the phone responded, 'Dude, that was me! Wait, you were the guy driving the Gumby's car? We were trying to get your attention to order some pizzas!'

After a little more back-and-forth, laughing at the coincidence, they made me promise to ensure I was the one to deliver their order when it was ready, promising a nice tip in return. I worked out a deal with the other two drivers, giving up a few choice deliveries in return for the monster 10-pie order.

When the delivery was finally ready, I loaded up my car and set out in search of the devils. It wasn't too difficult to find them, given that the UVA Lawn was overrun with people in what was obviously a huge party, with over half the attendees either in red or wearing some sort of devil accouterment. I even saw some of my friends and classmates there, and soon discovered this was a party hosted by the IMP Society, a secret society at UVA known for both philanthropy and outlandish pranks.

I conscripted a friend I saw there to help me carry the pizzas out to the party, and when all was said and done, I had an extra $100 in tips in my pocket, along with an invite to return to the party after my shift was over. Not a bad way to end the night, all because a few men dressed up as devils, carrying a tree branch, saw my car topper and decided their night would not be complete without some delicious delivery pizza!"

Flirty Women Can Be Very Pushy
Flirty Women Can Be Very Pushy

"I worked as a delivery driver for my first three and a half years of university. Most of my shifts were pretty uneventful. Some of the stranger encounters include:

-One time, I was working downtown near the state capitol building. I had another apartment delivery, again on a late-night. The customer seemed drunk and invited me into the sign the bill. Instead of signing off and letting me go, she and her friends kept asking questions like, 'Are you single?' and 'I gave you a tip, but do you want something else, too?' I was 18 and completely petrified. I can't remember what I said, but I practically had to run out. They were probably just drunk and messing around, but it was still a bizarre encounter.

-I had a delivery to a nondescript row of apartments late on a Friday night. I rang the bell and heard somebody stumbling towards the front door. When the hinges swung back, there was a topless woman standing in front of me. 'I told you I'd do it!' she shrieked. I heard some laughter coming from another room.

-The store I spent most of my time working for was in East Lansing, which is the home of Michigan State University. During the school year, there are always plenty of house parties raging on the weekends and during football games. Once I showed up to an address with a few sandwiches in tow. Nobody answered the door, so I started walking back to my car to dial the contact number. All of a sudden I heard whooping and screeching coming from the backyard. Two or three guys ran out - naked except for cowboy hats and big leather boots - chased each other around the front yard, and then circled back. A few minutes later, the customer peered their head out from behind the door and waved me over.

-When I worked for a pizza joint, there was a guy who'd order like clockwork almost every single day. He lived in an assisted living facility and never tipped; getting his ticket was always a chore. He'd order the same thing every time, too - an ice cream sundae and about fifteen packets of mayonnaise. The buzzer to his room was worn down from all the delivery men and women constantly coming in and out. Once you got up to him, he'd crack the door open just a sliver, reach his hand out to take the food, and then slam it shut. Sometimes, if you were very unlucky, you'd see the outline of his naked body when the door opened."

"I Felt Like The World's #1 Schmuck After She Opened The Door All The Way"

"I walk up to the front door of this house with the pizza and knock.

The gal who ordered the pizza opens the door halfway- I can see her whole body except for her left arm which is behind the door.

This being a large pizza, lot's of stuff on it, and being pretty heavy, I say to the woman, 'You might want to use two hands, this thing's pretty heavy.' She opens the door all the way and has no arm below the left elbow.

Speechless, I hand over the pizza and slink back to my car feeling like the World's #1 Schmuck.

After telling this story to several friends over the following few months, one of them said, 'Wait a minute. Was this house over on Sunset Drive, by the park?'

'Yeah, that's the one,' I said.

'Oh man, that's Linda, she lost her arm as a kid and has been doing crap like that for years, just to screw with people. She probably laughed her butt off as you walked away.'

Not too long after that, I saw Linda in a local tavern, walked up to her and asked if I could join her. After sitting down I said, 'I got a bone to pick with you.'

We had a couple of drinks together and had a few laughs."

Be Very, Very Quiet
Be Very, Very Quiet

"Nothing stood out on the order itself, but it was to a notably questionable area. I knocked on the door which was answered by a nervous looking young man who put his fingers to his lips in the SHHHH sign. He opened the door wider and went to get the money, or I assume that's where he went. I soon understood why he was both nervous and wanting quiet.

On the couch, facing the door, was a fairly slovenly looking fellow sleeping fitfully and holding an assault rifle tightly to his chest. I remember it as looking like a modified AK47, but that could just be my memory. He was doing that sleep jerk thing, somewhat twitchy, if you get my meaning.

It occurred to me to question his motivation for holding a rifle just at that moment. I wondered if perhaps he were expecting to need it soon. It also crossed my mind that perhaps he was a particularly crazy person. Either way, I left the pizza on the floor just inside the door and left immediately, not waiting for the money. When I got back to the store, I listed the address as 'collection only' and informed the store manager as to the details and why I left without payment."

When You Deliver On The Rough Side Of Town, Things Get Sketchy Fast
When You Deliver On The Rough Side Of Town, Things Get Sketchy Fast

"One night, I was working my closing driver shift. 11:30 pm rolls by and still no orders on screen. 11:37 pm crept up and from out of thin air comes a stack of seven orders, in ALL different directions. I ended up leaving the store with three orders. I took the first one to a notoriously bad Motel 6 in the area. This guy signs the slip, then proceeded to hand me a meth pipe and asked if I wanted 'a little puff to finish the night strong.'

I said, 'Thanks, but I'm feeling pretty strong, my friend.' He continued to look at me, dead in the face for a second. I noticed that there was one other guy in the room and a girl in the corner, just staring at the wall. Just before I turned to leave, I looked up again from my clipboard and all three were watching me very closely. I cautiously rushed to my car as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

I then headed to my 2nd delivery. It was in a small trailer park in a neighboring city, in a trailer that was surrounded by numerous mounds of debris and rotting trash. Next to the trailer was a mint 1969 Chevy El Camino. When the couple opened the door, my nose started to burn lightly, like there was phosgene gas in the air or some chemical being burned. As we were exchanging money for food, the door remained wide open and gradually the sensation grew more intense. As I walked away, my nose felt warm and I started rubbing it, I quickly found that I had started bleeding. I noted this address and went on my way (driving with napkins in my nose).

I went to my 3rd destination. It was a nice and normal residential house and a nice break from the sketchy scenes from earlier. It was a quick and easy exchange and they even tipped me 50% of the bill. But as I tried to leave, I hit a big pothole and my car died. My supply fuel line had caught something and was yanked off of the pump, so I was leaking fuel everywhere. I quickly reattached the line and finally got on my way. When I pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot, I noticed two city police cars in the parking lot. I got inside and spot my manager speaking with three policemen. I walked up to them and all of them turn to me and my manager exclaimed, 'IT WAS HIM!' Immediately, my face went pale and I waited to see what happens next without verbally responding to my manager's comment. The police chuckled and asked if they could speak with me. It turns out that my first delivery (to the people at Motel 6) was a case of identity theft. So I gave them a room number, the best description of the individuals I could give, and my notes on the residences in my 2nd delivery. They thanked me and left in a hurry. They went and found the individuals in the middle of using the pipe they previously offered to me. I learned that they were involved in both an identity theft ring and meth distribution. They did NOT pursue investigating the residence of my 2nd delivery, in their trailer.

After all was said and done I sighed and said to my manager, 'I need a raise.'"

How A Pizza Delivery Almost Got Him In Trouble With An Armed Guard
How A Pizza Delivery Almost Got Him In Trouble With An Armed Guard

"Years ago, I was delivering pizza for Domino's in McLean, Virginia. This was before GPS, so we had to look up unfamiliar addresses on a big tax map mounted on the wall of the store. I got an order for an unfamiliar address and when I looked it up on the tax map, there was no detail. I figured out where the address must be, so I just headed out. This was in the day of the 30-minute guarantee.

I turned onto the road of the address and it was thickly wooded on both sides of the road with no houses. Suddenly I came upon a wide opening that had two small, and completely empty, parking lots on each side of the road. At the other end of the clearing was a guardhouse. As I drove toward guardhouse, a guard came running out with one hand on his sidearm and the other extended toward me, palm out telling me to stop, which of course I did.

He carefully approached the car, keeping the pillar of my windshield between us. He asked what I wanted. I pointed to the big Domino's triangle on top of my car and said I had a pizza to deliver. He told me to back up and pull into the parking lot on the right.

I did this and retrieved the pizza from the back seat. He was already approaching me and asked how much the pizza was. I told him and he gave me enough cash to cover it, plus a pretty good tip. I asked him if he was the one who ordered the pizza. He hesitated and then said, 'Of course,' obviously lying.

Best prank that has ever been played on me because I got a good tip and a good story. I had just delivered a pizza to CIA headquarters."

"I Fumed All The Way Back To The Store"

"In college, I worked for a very busy place that catered to college students. We were close to the dorms and on a Friday night, taking stacks of orders, I could deliver 30-50 pizzas in an hour. Even with lousy tips, it was good money. A call came in for a small one topping. This pizza was on the edge of our delivery zone and I knew I would be losing tips in other deliveries to take it out there, but that's the breaks sometimes.

I could hear a TV on the other side of the door, but no one answered my knocking. I kept banging on the heavy door, assuming the person on the other side was drunk and passed out. No answer. I banged hard enough to split a knuckle. No answer. I fumed all the way back to the store, nursing my bloody knuckle. When I got there, I ran into a friend in the parking lot. He asked about how my night was going, I replied, 'Great until the drunk jerk at 4311 South Thomas Street didn't answer his mother-flippin door!' I then threw the pizza against my car. My friend laughed and I realize I was making a spectacle of myself in a fairly crowded parking lot, so I shut up and went inside, slamming the pizza back in the warmer. There were several people at the counter picking up orders, including a guy I recognized from the parking lot, as he was wearing a very bright Hawaiian shirt.

I furiously pound on the computer, removing the pizza from my 'hook,' making it no longer my delivery. When I went to check the order number, the pizza was gone. I asked the manager what happened to it, and he said, 'It was that guy's, I just gave it to him.' It was the Hawaiian shirt guy, who clearly heard me call out his address and throw his pizza. He bought it without complaint. I guess he didn't want to face the wrath of the raging pizza guy."

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